Chained

Most people have already read this on my MySpace or on DeviantArt, but I felt like posting it on here for no apparent reason.

Other than to share it with you guys of course.

This is somewhat in a story version. More or less you are the character and you're in the position that I am in when I have the dream.

It is a reoccurring dream I've had since I was about 7 or 8. It stopped around 12. Before it stopped, I was always in the hallway when I awoke.

Running.

When I was 15, it started up again and then what you just read is what started happening. I've never figured out what it is that I'm running from or what lies behind the door. I've also never escaped.

But maybe one night, more will be revealed.

--

There's a dark room. Dark in the sense of light and dark in the sense of the feeling. There is no joy in this room. It feeds on your joy, taking it all away from you so that the only thing left for you to feel is sorrow and maybe even emptiness. In this room, you can feel chains. Perhaps it was once a prison. Or maybe it still is one. There's no way of knowing. Suddenly you realize your sitting in something wet. You move away from it. You can't tell what it is in such little of light. But it's not water. Too thick. A little sticky. And the stench. It smells... of death. Suddenly you realize what it is. Blood. There's so much blood. Is it from you? You can't tell. You're so dizzy now. A thought runs through your mind. There's nothing left to do but run. Run out of this room. Out of wherever you are. You don't know how you even got here in the first place but you want to leave. Standing up you realize you are chained. Is it to the wall? You feel around. Yes. You are chained to the wall. You pull with all your strength. Though it feels so little to you. Luckily the chain is weak. You break free. You see the door from flickering lights outside. Is it locked? Trying the door handle you find that it's not. But why? You don't question it for long. The feeling of having to escape is so strong now. You have to leave. Something is coming for you. You don't know what, but you don't want to find out either. Opening the door, you can see an empty grey hallway. You look back into the room for a moment. You muffle a scream. There is blood and the dead everywhere. You close the door. You can't bear to look any longer. Then you see a another door at the end of the hall. It's so far though, but you have to make it. So you begin to run. So close it is. Then you trip. There's pain surrounding you now. You hit your head pretty hard and now there are droplets of blood. Ignoring the pain you rise to your feet and begin running once again. You begin to tremble though. Is it the pain or is whatever coming for you getting close? You don't dare look back. You reach the door. And you grab the handle. But it all turns dark.

EARTH DAY!!!

Guess what day it is today! That's right!

EARTH DAY!!!

The one day out of they year set especially aside for our wonderful home. Earth. But let me ask you this. Why only one day? I think we should celebrate Earth everyday, for without it we would not be here. Or able to survive. Or even have evolved to where we were in the first day.

Yes, well I hope you wore green at least if nothing else. If you can though, you should try to find something to do for Earth day. I for one, feel like drawing a picture for Earth day. I'm also going to plant flowers.

Well, Happy Earth Day Earth!

Confessions of an Empathetic Teenager

I feel like I'm losing the majority of my friends. I want to be there for them and be friends with them. But the drama.

Oh the drama.

I'm trying to move on with my life and away from that. But some of them... there's just so much going on and they've changed. To the point where it's like I don't know them anymore. Have you ever woken up one day and suddenly wondered why you were so close to someone? Sadly enough I have.

I feel like a jerk for saying this. But it's true. And some of my relationships with friends. It's like all give and no take. Relationships are built on give and take. If the scale isn't equal... then something's wrong.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just selfish. But when you're empathetic and the only emotion you feel is a bad one, shouldn't you want a break?

I just wish I could hug them and say, "I know all this bad stuff has happened and is happening and more probably will come, but we can't let that get us down. You need to face life with hope and thoughts of a better future. If you try hard enough, it will come. You've just got to believe."

But I can't. Maybe I'm just not a good friend. Other people have always been better at cheering others up than I have. I just don't really understand what they're going through I suppose.

Now I sound depressed. Bleh... I need to get on a lighter note.

So... on a lighter note... I've been working out. It's going pretty well I believe. And Otakon is this summer. I'm going with my mom.

It should be fun.

Right... well I better head off of here. I need to write an essay for French and work on an Earth Day project. So I'm a little busy.

Till I blog again.

Music = Everything

If there is one thing that I cannot live without, that would be music. On average I listen to it a good 6-8 hours a day. Maybe even more.

I'm in love with it. But then again, who wouldn't be.

Music can inspire and is an amazing way to express. I'm actually in the process of writing a song. My friend is going to write the music for it.

Isn't it exciting?

Well anyways... I've added a playlist with some of my top songs.

Enjoy!

Weird Dream!

A couple nights ago, I had one of the absolutely strangest dreams. Ever. Even weirder than some of my other dreams which I don't even want to get into. Anyways, here it goes.

The dream starts off where I'm falling off of things. Like cliffs and buildings. Repeatedly. It's a little weird. Okay. Really weird. Then I save my sister as we're falling off a temple and land in the ocean. After we walk onto the beach, she leaves and I ask the beach go-ers where Tony Stark's party is. Then I'm go to party hosted by Tony Stark and I'm there with DC villain, Copperhead. For some reason though, I feel like I'm not supposed to be there. Well we go and see that Tony is getting his picture taken. He looks at me and all happily says, "Audra, I'm so happy you were able to make it." After this, he glares at Copperhead and calls Security who come and drag him off. Then his clone rushes over and says, "Tony, we have to dance! Now!" And they both rush off excited.

It gets weirder.

Well I see the two security guards who dragged off Copperhead. I ask, "Where is he?" And then the female guard replies, "Which part?" Then I discover that it's actually Superman and Wonder Woman. "What are you doing here?" I ask. "Security." Superman replies.

Yeah. Stupid answer to a stupid question.

Well the party continues and I see Flash. He was eating hot dogs. "Why are you eating hot dogs?" I asked. "I don't know. But they're better than those fish egg things." He replied. Then Copperhead's head hops in. "What happened?!" I asked. And he looks at me and says. "No idea. But I can't feel my legs for some reason."

So... yeah... weirdness...

And so it begins...

I would like to formally welcome you to my first ever blog. I'm not quite sure what exactly got me interested in doing this thing called "blogging" but one day I woke up and that is how this blog was born. I'm not really the type of person to normally have a blog, but I felt like I should start one. Many other people already have, right?

This basically going to be me blogging thoughts, ideas, dreams, etc. and so forth. More or less as the title says, the non-essential thoughts of a dreamer. Though I like to believe my thoughts are essential.

This blog, while it may include thoughts about, is not like my fashion blog. I will not be adding all the information here that I will there. I will let you know when I post updates though, so be on the lookout.

I suppose that's it for now. I'll blog later probably. But it's time for me to wrap it up for tonight and then head to bed. Busy day tomorrow.

-Audra